Couple on a bench

Anetta & Jackub's story

Anetta and Jackub started their journey in 2008 when they got married.. Anetta shares the challenges and the ups and downs of her fertility journey. Read below for her beautiful story. 

Anetta & Jackub's Story

By Anetta

 

Our story started in December  2008 when we got married, after 12 years of being together we finally felt that was the right moment.

 

Not even a month later, on the 7th January of 2009 I was pregnant. It was a spontaneous conception and frankly at that time I didn’t know any other ways to conceive a baby.

A healthy and beautiful baby boy was born in October 2009. My first born baby.

 

We started thinking about getting pregnant again about 2 years later in around late 2011. We tried for 7 months and absolutely nothing was happening. It was shocking and scary. I just could not understand it.

After another couple of months we went to seek some help from our doctor.

Things happened very fast and my dear husband was diagnosed with serious autoimmune disease that was most likely going to deteriorate his fertility health.

We met our fertility specialist in Rotunda IVF for the first time in around May 2013. He wanted us to have some additional tests before deciding on a treatment plan. Those things take time, while the whole world just seems to abound in pregnant women and babies. The anxiety and loneliness took their toll on us. It was not an easy journey to go through both as a couple and as individuals.

Somewhere in the midst of it all, a little miracle happened and we got spontaneously pregnant again!

The overwhelming feeling of happiness returned to our life for a short period of 5.5 weeks. We lost that pregnancy as quickly as it came to our life.

In August 2014, we decided, against all odds (given only 15% chance that it will work), to go for the IUI. IT WORKED. It worked amazingly. First go, first time, finally.

 

An absolute happiness.

 

An absolute love and a feeling of peace and fulfillment.

 

I got to 38 weeks and my C-section was scheduled at 38+5.

 

My hospital bag was ready. I had the last scan on 38+2 to check the baby’s position.

The doctor told me the baby had lots of hair. We laughed about the heartburn and hair association.

I went back home so ready to meet her little face, in such excitement and love.

 

Eliana died in my womb about 5 hours after that last scan, 2 days before she was meant to have been born alive.

 

...

Our life after losing her was the darkest place one can ever imagine, the greatest despair one can ever go through and the hardest grief one can ever be faced with.

 

We opted to have a full post mortem examination. These long 17 pages of highly medical jargon was summarised into one sentence:  the immediate cause of the foetal death remains unexplained.

Now I know that stillbirth is 10 times more common than SIDS and now I know that most of these tragic deaths remain unexplained but back then my heart longed for a reason to blame.

 

It took tremendous courage to pursue our dream of a bigger family after losing a full term baby. But we did.

We went through ICSI in March 2016 and a beautiful rainbow baby girl was born some 37 weeks later.

I must say, it would not have happened if it had not been for the doctors and nurses and all the other staff who helped us along the way.

I enjoyed those little personal conversations when I got to know my nurse’s daughter’s name or saw a picture of my doctor’s garden.

I knew they were professionals and had to keep their boundaries but I still wanted to feel that I was coming to a place full of friends rather than professionals only. Infertility is isolating enough.

It was important to chat, to smile and tell a little joke here and there. I must say we both felt very much welcomed in Rotunda IVF.

Last year we had two more dreadful miscarriages (after frozen embryo transfers) and our journey was coming to a definite end as there is only so much one can take and a line has to be drawn.

Two weeks after we had drawn the finishing line I found out I had been pregnant. It was another spontaneous pregnancy and another baby girl was born and is now nearly 4 months old.

We have completed our family.

We embrace, include and remember our beautiful first born daughter who sadly did not get to stay long with us.

We relate to all the other losses and days filled with sadness and hopelessness.

But today my message is very simple:  Know what is right for you, fight for it. Hope for it. Trust your doctor. Argue with your doctor, settle the argument and reach out for your dreams.

Accept things that cannot be changed.

I hear you.

I see you.

You are not alone.